


Whatever You Need

by Sirius04L



Series: The Chronicles of The Flash and Arrow [4]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e22 Rogue Air, Episode: s01e23 Fast Enough, Episode: s02e01 The Man Who Saved Central City, Episode: s03e20 The Fallen, Episode: s03e23 My Name is Oliver Queen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Barry Allen, M/M, Minor Character Death, Protective Joe West, Stubborn Oliver Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25703851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirius04L/pseuds/Sirius04L
Summary: Barry is torn - between his feelings for Oliver and helping save his sister and city to taking on Wells and saving his own city. It's all happening at once and Barry isn't sure what to do or how he's going to do it. And even if he can do it all, is it worth it. Can he handle the toll that comes with being a hero?
Relationships: Barry Allen/Oliver Queen
Series: The Chronicles of The Flash and Arrow [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763857
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	Whatever You Need

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a long time coming. Between starting a second job and everything going on at my own store its been nuts. 
> 
> This story takes place over a wide range of episodes from both Arrow and The Flash. I hope I was able to keep everything ordered enough so that it comes across like I wanted it to. Like the previous installment this one doesn't have anything to do with the major corssovers.

Barry looked down at his phone and stepped out of the cortex, nodding at Joe as he did so. “Ollie, hey.” He frowned when no answer came and he looked at the screen to make sure that call was still connected. “Oliver? Oliver, what’s wrong?”

“Thea,” He finally said, his voice rough as if he’d been crying. 

“Oliver, what happened to Thea? Is she okay?”

“Ra’s al Ghul...he -” Barry closed his eyes tightly as Oliver started to break down on the other end of the line. 

“I’m on my way, okay? Oliver, I’ll be there as fast as I can be, okay?”

“Felicity and Diggle are on their way, you don’t -”

“I do,” Barry interrupted. “And I want to be. I’m leaving now.” Barry listened for Oliver’s acknowledgment before hanging up. He peaked back into the cortex and waved Joe out. 

“I have to run to Starling, Oliver...I think he’s going to lose his sister.”

Joe clapped a hand on Barry’s shoulder and squeezed it. “You be careful.” Barry heard the double meaning behind the words; be careful because of the dangers and be careful that he didn’t get hurt further by Oliver. The pair had talked over the phone but things were still rocky between them. Barry wasn’t sure that they could come back from what Oliver had done. 

“I will. Call me if something comes up.” Barry barely saw Joe nod before he took off towards Starling City and Oliver. 

Barry jogged around the corner and saw Diggle and Felicity with Oliver. He sped up a bit and took the spot on Oliver’s other side, taking his hand. 

“He just left her there - to die.” He stared at the wall across from him and Barry felt Oliver’s grip get tighter. 

“Oliver, is she -” Diggle started and Oliver closed his eyes. 

“It’s bad.” He looked over at Barry. “She’s on life support. They don’t think that she’ll wake up and if she does...all we’d do is prolong her life. She’ll never recover from this. 

Barry leaned forward and kissed his head, his thumb stroking over Oliver’s knuckles gently. “Maybe there’s something Caitlin and Cisco can do. I can...Ollie?” He watched as Oliver stood up and walked towards the window.

“What is it?” Felicity asked, Diggle and Barry walking forward to flank Oliver as he put his jacket on. 

“Smoke.” 

“The League? Screw ‘em. At least until we get our bearings, Oliver. Come up with a plan.” Diggle looked from Oliver to Barry when the archer didn’t take his eyes off the smoke.

“He’s won. There is no plan.” He turned and walked towards the exit. “Stay here with Thea.”

Barry gave Felicity a concerned look before following Oliver. “You need to stop, think for a minute. I know it's hard, but you need to focus.”

“He killed my little sister, Barry. He killed Thea.”

“There may be something we can do, let Cisco and Caitlin take a look. Don’t just run off and leave us all behind.” Barry didn’t say again, but he could see the stiffness in Oliver’s shoulders at the unspoken word. “Don’t give up just yet,” he said softly and took Oliver’s hand back in his. 

Oliver looked down at it before looking back up at Barry. “Call them - let me know.” He said before walking out. 

Barry let his empty hand fall to his side and watched as Oliver left. He made his way back down the hall and walked into Thea’s room. He quickly scanned the medical records and sent them to S.T.A.R. Labs for his team to look over.

“He’s going to do something stupid again, isn’t he?” Felicity asked as she walked into the room, Diggle right behind her. 

“Yeah, probably,” He said softly. He stepped out of the room and spoke with Caitlin and Cisco, leaving Felicity and Diggle to sit with Thea. None of the ideas that were thrown at him by his friends seemed like they would work. Thea had no healing abilities, no sort of powers that could aid her healing. Caitlin eventually had to sigh and agree with what the doctor had already told Oliver. Even if she woke up, they wouldn’t be able to do anything that would enable her to live a full life.

Barry let his head fall forward and cradled it with his hands, only to look up when Felicity and Diggle walked out of the hospital room. “Oliver’s leaving.” 

He stood up and faced them. “Want a lift?” One at a time Barry rushed them to the loft, the three walking in as a united front. 

“Oliver, what’s going on?” “Oliver, where are you going?” Felicity and Diggle asked at the same time. Barry stepped into the room behind them, his arms folded over his chest. 

“Away,” He said, not making eye contact with Barry.

“You can’t just leave like this, you have to tell us what’s happening,” Felicity said, her eyes following him as he walked.

“There’s a way for me to save -”

“Thea?” She asked. “Oliver, that’s not possible.”

Barry and the others looked over as Merlyn stepped in. It was taking all of his self control to not sonic punch the man across the city. “Yes it is. There are waters in Nanda Parbat that have permitted R’as to live for over a hundred years. And in rare instances told in legend those waters have been used to restore the dead to life. He offered to use the Lazarus pit on Thea, didn’t he?” He said stepping further into the room.

Oliver looked away from Merlyn and locked eyes with Barry. 

“Lazarus as in from the bible, Lazarus?” Diggle asked.

“It’s real. I’ve seen it.” Olver finally looked away from Barry and towards their friends. And Barry knew this was it. If there was a chance that Oliver could save Thea he was going to take it; damn what the rest of them thought. “It can save Thea.”

“Right, but only if you become the new Ra’s.” Diggle, folded his arms over his chest, his steady gaze staying on Oliver.

“Okay, well even if a magic hot tub were not crazy talk we’re not going to let you go and join the league of psychotic murderers, even if it is to save Thea!” Felicity said, and for a moment Barry imagined her stomping her foot down. 

“Which this wouldn’t.” Everyone looked over as Merlyn spoke up again. “The waters change a person, in the soul. Even if they work, the Thea you get back will not be the one you lost.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes and faced him. “What we lost because of you.”

“Oliver - “

“I’d prefer that we didn’t do our usual ‘Please Don’t Go Dance.” He said interrupting Felicity.

“We’re not going to because I’m coming with you.” Felicity said. “Assuming that this works, someone is going to need to bring Thea back home.”

“We need a way to get to Nanda Parbat.” Oliver grabbed his bag and faced her. She nodded and walked out and Merlyn left right after her. Barry assumed he was going back to see Thea.

Barry, Diggle, and Oliver were left in the loft. Oliver sat back on the couch, his eyes going to Barry. Diggle looked between the two before they settled on the speedster. “You’re really not going to try and talk him out of this?”

Barry’s eyes had barely left Oliver’s form since he stepped in the room earlier. “What good would it do? We both know that if he had his mind made up that he’s going to go through with it. Look at what happened with his duel before. Besides,” He said softly. “I’d do the same thing to save Joe or Iris. Or him.”

And Barry knew that was true. He’d do absolutely anything he could to save his family. He’d do it for Oliver too, in a heartbeat. Diggle threw his hands up and walked out, probably making a call to Lyla to try and make some sort of plan to keep Oliver from going through with this.

Barry walked over and sat next to Oliver and rested his head on the broader shoulder. “Please tell me that you have a plan.”

He felt Oliver’s lip against his hair and the slight nod. “I do.”

*~*~*

Barry sped into the room from the balcony and looked at Oliver sitting on the couch. “Hey, you okay? Sorry, that’s a stupid question.,” He said, pulling his cowl down. “You just saw your sister come back from the dead and you’re about to give up everything you know and love, so probably not.”

Oliver smiled softly and waved him closer. “I remember the first time I thought I’d never see Thea again. It was when my father’s boat went down.”

“But you did see her again. And you’ll see her again. And again.”

“This is different, Bar. Just been thinking about the person I was. The brother that I was - and how he probably died when that boat went down. And all this time I’ve been struggling with who I am.”

Barry knelt in front of him and took his hand. “And you think who you’re supposed to be is the next R’as al Ghul?”

“Honestly?” He asked, intertwining their fingers. “I don’t know. The only thing that I can know for sure is that everything that I’ve done, every...everything that happened it led me right here, to this moment. And Barry, if that’s true, I don’t know what it was all for. “

Barry smiled warmly and let his eyes go over his face, memorizing it. “I do. I wish that I could change your mind about staying here, but I know I can’t. Just like I know how leaving you here is going to destroy me, I don’t regret a single moment. You shouldn’t either. You have done so much. You have saved so many people’s lives. And you have changed so many for the better.” Barry stroked his cheek and smiled when Oliver leaned into it. “Including mine.

“Knowing you has changed my life, opened up my heart in a way that I didn’t even know was possible. I love you.” He smiled as Oliver’s face was graced with that small smile that he saved for those closest to him, the one that lit up his eyes. 

He closed his eyes as Oliver leaned forward and their lips connected. What started out soft quickly progressed into something heated. He laughed into his mouth as Oliver shifted them so that Barry was straddling his lap. Barry moved closer, his body torn between pressing closer to Oliver or moving into his hands.

“How do you get this thing off?” Oliver basically growled, frustrated as he pulled at the suit. Barry just laughed and got it undone. When he looked back up Oliver was shirtless and he blushed. 

“Wow, you are..unreal.”

Oliver smirked and picked him up, kissing him. “And you are - “

“Scrawny?”

He laughed and kissed him again, carrying him to the bed. “Gorgeous,” He said as he sat down, Barry back in his lap. 

Barry blushed brightly and kissed him again. Oliver flipped them over and Barry bit his lip and tilted his head to the side as Oliver moved his lips down his neck. Barry became so focused on Oliver’s lips that he forgot about his hands until he felt them start to push the suit down his legs. 

“Ollie…” He gasped and lifted his hips so that it was easier for Oliver to get the suit off. Barry felt his cheeks heating up again and cursed himself inside his thoughts, Oliver’s eyes just taking him in. “Come here,” He said softly and pulled Oliver back down to him.

~*~*~

  
  


“So, that happened,” Barry said, smiling. His head rested on Oliver’s chest, both of them looking up towards the ceiling. 

“I’m glad it did.”

“Me too.”

“Even if it's the only time?”

“Even if,” He said softly. Barry sat up and sped away, back before Oliver realized he was even out of the bed. He held a bottle and two glasses in his hands.

“What’s this?”

“If there’s any kind of God, something alcoholic.”

“I thought alcohol didn’t affect you.”

“It doesn’t, but I can pretend for a bit.” He smiled and poured some of the wine into each glass. “There’s not much to toast to up here, is there?”

“There’s us,” Oliver said softly and took one of the glasses from Barry’s hands.

They clinked their glasses together and Barry leaned against the headboard. “Are you sure this will work?”

Oliver started at his drink. “No, but it's the best we got.”

~*~*~

Barry walked into Jitter and walked over to Iris. He lightly brushed her shoulder to let her know that he was there as he made his way to the other side of the table. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said, and Barry could tell that the smile on her face was forced. 

“What’s all this?”

She held up the roll while she looked down at them. “Return labels for Eddie and me. I ordered 200 hundred to start with and this afternoon 2000 arrived. I guess I ordered wrong. “I have so many now.”

The guilt was making itself known in the center of Barry’s chest again. He’d run laps around the city checking every building, tunnel, nook and cranny that he could find but he still hadn’t been able to locate Eddie. “Iris, we’re going to find Eddie.”

“How?” She asked, her gaze almost boring into him and that guilt squeezed even tighter. “You’ve searched everywhere, more than once, and you haven’t found anything.”

Barry looked at the labels, and even if she didn’t mean it to be, he could hear the accusing tone in her voice. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not at you, its just - “

He shook his head, waving off her apology. “You miss him.” He knew the feeling, even if he and Oliver were...he still didn’t really have a term for the situation that they were in, he missed him. But right now, his focus needed to be on what was happening in his own city. Oliver had a plan, and he knew that when the time came he’d be there to help Oliver out. And then...well, who knew?

“You miss him.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Look, Wells took my mom from me. I won’t let him take someone from you too.” Barry squeezed her hand, the word promise not leaving his mouth but he knew she would find the meaning in his words. He let go of her hand and pulled his phone out when he felt it vibrating against his leg. “It’s Cisco. I have to go.”

“Yeah, go.” She said and Barry walked out of the building He checked his surroundings before speeding off to S.T.A.R. Labs.

He walked in and stood next to Joe and Caitlin as Cisco sipped his drink and walked around Wells’ wheelchair. “I kept asking myself why would Wells pretend to need a wheelchair?”

“Sympathy, I suppose.”

“That’s what I thought at first, but he’s the man in yellow,” He said waving his arms around as he spoke back to Caitlin. “He’s the Reverse Flash, he’s much smarter than that. Sympathy can’t be the only reason.”

Joe nodded, his hands tucked into his pockets. “Yeah, it was a misdirect. Just like everything else Wells has done. I mean the last person we would suspect to be the man in yellow is the someone who lost the use of his legs.”

“That’s exactly right Joe.” Barry kept quiet as he watched Cisco reach for the bottom of the wheelchair. “Which is why I started messing around with the wheelchair and that’s when I found this. .” He put it on its side and looked up at them after revealing a compartment.

Barry let his arms fall and leaned over to examine it. He barely heard Joe say something about Radio Shack as he looked at the device. “That looks like the tech inside Gideon.”

“I measured the output and this thing is kicking off serious juice. I mean we’re talking enough to power all of Central City.”

“Seriously?” Joe asked.

“Oh yeah.”

“What do you think Wells was using it for?” Barry asked, keeping his eyes on it

“I think this thing is some sort of battery.” Cisco said and barry looked up at him quickly.

“Battery?”

“As in Wells was using it to power himself. To gain more speed. And that’s why he’s so much faster than you.”

Barry opened his mouth but he was cut off but one the alarms beeping behind them. He kept his eyes on the chair as Cisco and Caitin rushed to the computers. 

“The accelerator. It’s been reactivated.”

“Can’t be,” Caitlin said as she looked over his shoulder.

“How is that possible, it blew up.” Joe said as he and Barry walked over to the counsel. 

Barry felt dread pooling in the pit of his stomach and he gripped the edge of the desk as Cisco continued to talk. “It had to have been rebuilt.”

“Wells,” Barry said, his grip getting tighter.

Caitlin shook her head. “Even if he did rebuild it how did Dr. Wells turn the Particle Accelerator on?”

“He’s here,” Barry said looking around at the three of them. “That’s why we couldn’t find him. He’s been inside of S.T.A.R. Labs this whole time.” Barry followed after Joe to search the building. 

He could feel Cisco behind him as they made their way to the pipeline. Joe glanced back, “Cisco, what’d you bring that orange soda for?” Barry turned back and raised his eyebrow. 

“Whenever something happens with the Reverse Flash liquid floats in the air. You know, Barry’s fish tank, Wells’ champagne, Lance’s coffee, remember that? If this does the same thing we’ll know that Wells is in there.”

“Do it.” Barry said staying close behind Joe as they stepped in.

“Man, this is big.”

Barry was looking around, trying to see if anything was out of place when he heard Cisco behind him. “Guys - “

A streak of red rushed passed them, forcing him and Joe against opposite walls. Barry didn't even think and took off after him. He put everything he had into, cursing in his head when he was forced to stop. His energy was out and he could feel hid body calling out for something to refuel it. 

He rushed to the nearest place he could find and grabbed what he could, scarfing it down. He had to get back. Once Barry felt a bit better, enough to at least get him back to S.T.A.R. Labs he took off. Even after his quick refuel and felt himself double over once he was there. “Wells got away. He was too fast. He’s always too fast.” He forced himself to a standing position. “Eddie?”

“We found him under that hatch in the pipeline,” Cisco informed him as Eddie lifted his hand in greeting. 

“I am so sorry. I thought...I thought I looked everywhere for you,” Barry said looking between Eddie and Iris as he made his way over to them. 

“Hey, it's not your fault. Sometimes you can’t see all the clues, even if they’re right in front of you.”

“Um...well, you know all that’s important is that we're all safe and back together, right?” Iris said, rubbing his shoulder nd Barry had to look away from the awkward moment between the pair.

Joe took a step forward. “Eddie, why did he take you?”

“I don’t know. He said that we’re family, that is real name is Eobard Thawne.”

Barry leaned against the desk and made eye contact with Joe and Cisco who was stepping forward. “Eobard Thawne, just like in my dream.”

“Did he say anything else?” Joe asked Eddie. “Anything that could help us figure out what he’s really after.”

Eddie shook his head. “He didn’t say much. Just kept working on some tube.”

“A tube? What did it look like?”

“Metallic? Futuristic. Said it was the key to him getting back everything that was taken from him. 

“Key?” Barry asked. “I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Look, I just want to go home. Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course.” Caitlin said, taking the IV out.

“I’ll make sure you get some rest.” 

Barry watched Iris lead him out before looking back to the others. “What do you think Wells was talk about?” He let out an exasperated sigh as another alarm went off. He walked over to the desk as Cisco rushed to check it. 

“Oh no…no.” And he ran out. 

“What? What now?” Barry asked, groaning. He nibbled on one of the bars Cisco had designed for him as he listened to him explain what he thought was going to happen and their timeline. Once he was back to the cortex the four of them started going over their next steps. 

“We’re going to have to move them,” Barry said, still meaning back in the chair. Just because they weren't the best people doesn’t mean that they deserved to die in whatever twisted game that Wells had thought up.

“Move them where?” Joe asked. “Iron Heights can’t handle meta-humans.”

“You’re right. But Lian-Yu can.” Barry looked over and Cisco and Caitlin both got curious looks on their faces.

Joe looked at Barry. “What the hell is a Lian-Yu?”

“Lian-Yu is the island where Oliver was stranded for five years. A.R.G.U.S. built a covert military prison on it.”

“It’s where we sent Captain Boomerang,” Cisco pitched in.

“Right, Oliver keeps his worst criminals there. They won’t be able to escape and more importantly they won’t be able to hurt anybody.”

“Great. So we ship them from one illegal black site to another?”

“Yeah, I...I guess.”

Barry could hear the judgement pouring from Joe as he kept going. ‘And how do we get them to Oliver’s own private Alcatraz?”

“I’ll make some phone calls, see if we can get some help with transport. And Cisco, if we do this, nobody can get loose.”

He nodded. “I might have a way of getting them out of here safely.”

Barry nodded. “All right, get on it,” He said and watched as Cisco and Caitlin walked out. He turned and faced Joe when he felt his eyes on him. 

“Bar, this is insane.”

“Joe, we have to do this.”

“You don’t think that if we start bussing supervillains through downtown no one will notice?’

“Oh they’ll notice. That’s where you’ll come in.”

When he met up with him the next day Barry informed him of the transport that A.R.G.U.S. was able to supply. “So Queen came through.”

Barry shook his head. “I had to get in contact with someone else. Oliver has...other things on his plate at the moment. He’s in Nanda Parbat, long story. But I called Lyla, Diggle’s wife, and she’s going to hook us up. What about CCPD giving us an escort?”

“Man, it ain’t happening.”

“What?”

“You saw me talking to the D.A.,” Joe said pointing over his shoulder. “She was very clear, I could lose my badge, I could go to jail, we could go to jail.”

“We are...we are protecting people!”

“We are, Barry, but I’m a cop. There’s a certain set of rules that I need to follow and this year I broke all of them. Lying to my boss.”

“I know,” He said softly.

“Ignoring the law. I mean at what point do we become no different than the people we’re fighting?”

Barry frowned. “We are way different.”

“How?”

“We only break the rules to help people.” Barry started to walk away.

Joe ran his hands over his face. “You’re making it really hard for me to like Queen, you know that, right? He’s already on my list for what he did to you and now he’s got you thinking something like this is okay?”

Barry paused before shaking his head and leaving. Joe’s words rolled around in his head and stopped. Oliver, what would Oliver do if he were stuck in this situation. “I am so going to regret this.” He said to himself and sped out of the building.

Barry’s meeting with Snart at least got the feelers out, and Barry hoped that this could work. That Snart would come through. Now, just to convince the others. He pleaded with Joe to understand, there was no other choice. The CCPD had fallen through and Oliver and his team were unavailable. What else could they do? 

All of them jumped when Snart walked in, monologuing about his demands. Barry looked down and agreed and he felt Joes grip on his arm. “You and me need to talk right now.”

He followed Joe into one of the side rooms and shut the door. “What is wrong with you? You can’t just erase Snart’s criminal records.”

Barry gripped his hands together behind his neck. “Yeah I can. And I’ll do whatever I have to do.”

“Barry there’s got to be a different way to do this.”

“Okay, then what is it Joe?! Tell me what it is and we’ll do it. We’re running out of time!”

“What is going on with you? You working with that killer? This isn’t who you are.”

Barry turned his back to Joe and felt the pounding in his head start. There was nothing else, he had to save them, he needed to get them free He needed to make Dr. Wells pay. Barry needed to end this. “Who I am is the guy who;s not fast enough to stop Wells. He...he hasn't been one step ahead of us, Joe, he’s been a thousand. I can’t catch him, I can’t beat him. What I can do is save those people down there. Wells turned them into what they are and I’m pretty sure he does not care if they live or die. I do.” He sighed and ran out, keeping his end of the deal with Snart. He needed this to work.

It didn’t work. Barry sat near the entrance to the pipeline, still in his suit, and replayed Snart’s words over and over in his head. As much as he hated the man he knew that Leonard was right. Barry was mad at himself. The feeling had been there, that he couldn’t trust Snart but he’d felt backed into a corner. And now all those metas were lose again and Wells was still out there to contend with. And Oliver. 

“Hey, Cisco told me you were in here.”

“How’s Caitlin doing?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the far wall.

“He used that light thingy on her. She’s fine. Mostly embarrassed.”

“Yeah. Thanks for not saying I told you so.”

“But I did tell you so. Repeatedly.”

Barry clenched his eyes closed. “I just…I’ve seen the way that Oliver does things and...he;s not afraid to just do whatever it takes to get what he needs and I thought that I could do that too. I thought I could just use Snart but instead he used me.”

“You’re the Arrow, Barry.”

“I know.,” Barry said softly and let his head fall back against the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed.

“That’s not the kind of hero you are.”

“What kind am I?”

He watched as Joe sat next to him. “The kind that cares about whether or not the criminals lived or died. I mean whatever Marden and Nimbus, and Shawna did they’re human beings. And you knew that letting Wells use them as pawns was wrong. You know the difference between right and wrong and you weren’t willing to blur the lines between the two.. That’s the kind of man you are. And that’s what makes you different than the Arrow.” Barry nodded and Joe clapped his hand on his knee. “So please, no more walks on the dark side.” 

Barry and Joe stood up as the alarm went off and Cisco announced that the Particle Accelerator was ready for whatever Wells had planned. He stood in front of the monitor and watched as Wells came onto the grounds. 

“Barry, don’t even think about it. Bar, no.” He heard Joe warning him from a few feet away. 

“You can’t go out there by yourself,” Caitlin said.

“Yeah,I can.” He ran out stopping yards away from Wells. 

Wells kept coming towards him, taking slow and measured steps. “Well, I heard your prison transfer didn’t go over so well. I’m so sorry.”

Barry kept his feet slightly apart, ready to take off if needed. He kept his eyes going side to side to keep a lookout for something Wells may have set up. “All apart of your plan I assume?”

“Actually, that didn’t factor into my plan at all, but I’m impressed you went to such great lengths to keep those people from harm. Ever the hero, huh, Barry?”

“You’ve hurt enough people.”

“I know. You see me as the villain, but Barry, if you were to look back, look back carefully, at everything I’ve done. Every wheel that I have set in motion you would realize that I have only done what I had to do. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Barry shook his head. “And the Particle Accelerator? How does that fit into your grand plan?”

“Well why don’t you go on inside and let me show you?” Wells asked, a smile on his face. 

Barry smirked. “You know, I Just learned the hard way to not trust the bad guy.”

“And yet, I’ve shown you, time and time again, you can’t beat me Barry.”

They both looked over and Firestorm landed and walked up next to Barry. He looked back over at Wells, his going over his face. 

“Wow, you brought yourself a friend. Ah, welcome, Mr. Queen.”

Barry felt some of the weight lift off of his shoulders when Oliver landed next to him. He didn’t look over, he wasn’t ready to face that yet, but the knowledge that Oliver was next to him eased some of the anxiety in his chest. 

“Hope we’re not too late,” Oliver said from his right side. 

“You’re just in time.” He said softly before raising his voice to speak to Wells again. “I don’t care how fast you are. You can’t fight all three of us at the same time.”

“Oh, I can’t. Trust me. This...this is going to be fun.”

Barry wanted to wipe the smug look off of his face. As soon as Wells started at him Barry rushed forward, meeting him in the middle. He could hear Oliver telling him to move but he couldn’t just stop his attack. He let out a groan as Wells managed to pin him against the fence and throw him into the building’s sign. Barry vaguely heard Ronnie take off into the air and Oliver’s arrow lodge itself into the Reverse Flash’s leg. 

“Come on!” Ronnie yelled after sending a fireball right at Wells. He ran off as Ronnie was sent flying across the city, knowing that Oliver could look after himself for the time being. Once he was sure that Ronnie was safe he bolted back to S.T.A.R. Labs and Oliver. 

“Barry, hurry,” Joe said into the comms and Barry put everything he had into the run.

“No,” he whispered when he saw Wells hovering over Oliver with his hand poised above his chest. “No!” He yelled and barrelled into him and sending him into the side of a dumpster. 

Wells got up, his glowing eyes focused solely on Barry. “That’s the spirit. You can’t stop me Flash. And you never will.” He taunted and took off up the side of the building.

Barry felt the lightning crackle in his eyes as he followed, turning the fight around so that Wells was chasing him. He yelled for Ronnie and Wells was sent flying over the building in a ball of fire. He looked over the edge just as Oliver took Wells down with another of the nanite arrows. 

He ran down and the three of them converged on Wells’ still form. “Thanks fellas.”

Ronnie nodded, smiling. “No problem.”

Barry looked at Oliver, finally taking him in and put a smile on his face. “Nice haircut. And I see we’ve abandoned our traditional green.”

He watched as the corner of Oliver’s mouth ticked up. “Trying something different. Look, I’m going to need you to do what we talked about. Soon.”

“Wherever, whenever.” He promised. Oliver walked past, gripping his arm as he took off. Barry looked down at Wells and stood over him. “I got you.”

~*~*~

The call from Oliver came just a couple days later. Barry had yet to talk to Wells, instead letting him stew in the pipeline while he sorted himself out. The call and the long distance run, the possibility of getting Oliver back from the League was just enough to let Barry process everything that had happened in the last few days. 

Barry looked at the palace, or whatever it was that was built into the side of the mountain. “Hope you got this right Ollie.” He said to himself before speeding in; he would do anything - anything, to get Oliver home.

He methodically went room to room, binding or knocking out the members of the League that he found. He chained the last four together. “All right...so that’s that’s the magic hot tub. Nice,” He muttered and ran from the room.

He skid to a stop in front of the cell door and waved. “Hey, guys.” Barry turned in a circle, quickly surveying the area. “Wow. This is like...a real dungeon.”

“Barry!” Felicity said, making her way to her feet.

“Thank you, Felicity. You just outed my secret identity to a super villian. No offense.”

Merlyn rolled his eyes and stood. “None taken, now get us out of here.”

Barry nodded and rubbed his hands together. “Stand back.” He took a deep breath and started to vibrate his hands so that the force would bust through the thick glass. Once he freed them he followed them down the hall to where their weapons were being stashed. 

“How many assassins do you figure?” Diggle asked.

“Ah, none. They’re all taking a little nappy time.”

“Thank you,” Felicity said, hugging him. “And not to be greedy but we could really use your help on this whole Starling City super virus thing.”

“You know I would but I am overdue for a very pointed conversation with Harrison Wells. I’m sure Oliver’s got this,” He said looking at the others.

“I wouldn’t count on it, Diggle said, loading his gun.

“Oliver hasn’t been very forthcoming with his plans lately,” Laurel added.

Barry smiled softly. “I know, but he’s still Oliver. We may not like the way he does things, but he’s our Oliver. And I don’t know everything that’s been going on with him lately, besides a wardrobe change.”

“And he got married,” Merlyn threw out.

Barry’s eyes widened and he looked at felicity. “He what...you know what, not important right now.” He calmed himself down, there was an explanation and he would get it...if Oliver even owed him anything. They really needed to sit down and sort all this out. He looked around at them again. “But one thing that hasn’t changed is that he needs you guys.” He looked directly at Diggle. “Even if he doesn’t think so. Good luck.”

He took off, using his run back to Central City to think about what he had learned while there, Wells in the back of his mind for the time being. He and Oliver  _ really  _ needed to have a long talk. 

~*~*~

“What, no Big Belly Burger?” Wells asked as Barry stood in front of his cell. “It’s one of the few perks of living in this time. We;re out of cows where I come from. You don’t care about that. You have questions, go ahead.”

“Not sure where to start,” Barry said honestly, his hands clasped behind his back. “Thawne. That is your real name. Eobard Thawne.

“Since the day I was born.”

“And when was that?”

“136 years from now. This is not what you want to know. Go ahead, Barry. Ask it.”

Barry swallowed, hearing the dare in his voice. “Why did you kill my mother?”

“Because I hate you. Not you now. You years from now.”

“In the future.”

“In a future,” Thawne said. “Yes. We’re enemies, rivals, opposites, reverses of one another.”

Barry blinked the tears from his eyes. “Why? Why? Why were we enemies?”

“Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that neither of us was strong enough to defeat the other. Until I learned your secret. I learned your name. Barry Allen. And finally I knew how to defeat you once and for all. Travel back in time and kill you as a child. Wipe you from the face of the Earth,” Thawne looked back towards him.

“But then you, future you that is, followed me back and we fought. We both landed some pretty solid shots. And then you, future you, got your younger self out of there. I was so mad.” Barry watched him pace in the cell. “But then I thought, what if you were to suffer a tragedy, what if you were to suffer something so horrible, so traumatic that your child self could never recover? Then you would not become the Flash so I stabbed your mother in the heart. And I was free. 

“I was finally able to return to a future without the Flash. Only to realize that in travelling back I lost my way home. I lost my ability to harness the speed force. And without it I was stuck here, stranded in this time. Unable to return to my home and the only way back was the Flash. But the Flash was gone and so I created him.”

Barry leaned on the side of the outer cell wall. “Why train me? Why help me save so many people?”

“Because I needed you to get fast. Fast enough to rupture the space-time barrier and create a stable wormhole through which I could return home.”

“Why would I ever do that?” Barry asked, looking up at him. 

“Because Barry Allen, if you give me what I want, I’m going to give you what you want. You can go back and save your mother. You can prevent your father from going to prison. You can reunite the Allen family.”

For a moment Barry felt his heart soar. His mother alive, his father at home, not in prison for something that he didn’t do. He could have his family, his whole life different. None of the pain he’d suffered. But the feeling was back, the same one he got when he went to Snart. “No. No, I don’t believe you.” He slammed his fist into the glass. “I want to kill you, right now!”

“I know that rage,” Thawne said, staring him down calmly. “I used to feel that rage every time I looked upon you. And somehow, now, I know what Joe and Henry feel when they look on you with pride. With love.”

Barry shook his head, still leaning on the glass. “No, no, don’t you ever say that to me!” He growled on, slamming his fists against the glass again. 

“I know you’re upset, but I’m giving you a chance,” he said walking closer to the door. “I’m giving you a chance to undo all the evil that I’ve done. Don;t you want that chance?”

Barry backed away from the cell and shut the pipeline door. The chance to bring his mother back. To save her, to save his father. He hated the fact that Wells was still able to get into his head. 

He walked back to the cortex and stood by a couple of boards while Professor Stein explained what would happen if Barry went back and changed the already altered timeline. He may meet any of them, he wouldn’t be living with Joe, might not have his friendship with Iris. He wouldn’t have...whatever he had with Oliver. Barry looked over at Joe, looking for some guidance.

“There’s no choice here, Barry. You have to do this. You have to change the past.” All of them watch Joe grab his jacket and put it on as he walked out the door before looking back at Barry. 

He frowned and jogged after him. “Joe? So what? That’s it? You think I should just do it?”

Joe stopped and nodded at him. “Yeah, I do.”

Barry got in front of him. “Which means I will never come to live with you. You’re okay with that?”

“Barry...you get the chance to grow up with both parents. You don’t have to grow up without a mother.”

The speedster looked at him trying to keep the hurt from showing on his face. “What about growing up without a father?”

“You will have a father! Your real father. Wells has messed with our lives long enough. This is why you became the Flash, Barry, to put things right. You’ve saved a lot of people’s lives this past year, now its time to save yours.” Joe hesitated before nodding at him and walking out. 

Barry stood there for a few moments and watched Joe leave. Joe was just ready to let him do this; maybe Barry had been more of a burden to him than he thought. He wiped his eyes and rushed out of the building, heading to Iron Heights. 

He smiled softly at his dad as sat down and as soon as the receiver was to his ear he explained all of it to him, what they could have back. “Dad, I know this sounds crazy - “

“I think we’re way past crazy, Slugger. Look, you’re fast, I get it. But turning back time - “

“No,” Barry said shaking his head. “I wouldn’t be turning time back. I would be going back to that night. To save her.”

“What does Joe think about all this?’

He scoffed softly. “He thinks I should do it.”

Barry felt his heart sink at his dad’s next words. “No. You can’t.”

“Dad, I can make it so that night will never have happened. We can be a family again.”

“We are a family,” he said simply. 

“Not like this, not without mom.”

“Barry, there’s a natural order to things. Why things happen the way they do. We may not know why at the time but there must always be a reason. Now, I believe that. I’ve had to believe it.”

Barry felt his eyes start to tear up and he was getting sick of that feeling. “I can save mom.”

“At what cost?” his dad asked. “You said time would change. What if it changes you?”

“I don’t care!”

“I do. I am in awe of the remarkable man that you are becoming. All the things you have achieved and not just as the Flash, but you Barry. Your honesty, your heart. You were always a hero. And your mom would be just as proud. And if she, if she had a say in this, if she thought that for one second that you going back to save her would mean you losing what makes you so special she would never want that.” Barry moved the receiver away from his mouth so he didn’t cry into his father’s ear.

“Barry, what I hope for you, maybe the greatest thing a father can hope for his son, is that one day you will become a father yourself. And then you will know how much I truly love you.”

“Dad,” Barry said softly, his voice cracking. 

Henry smiled at his son. “So proud of you, Slugger, and I love you so much,” he said putting his hand against the glass.

Barry put his hand up against his. “I love you, too.” 

He left once his visiting time was over and ran around the city. Joe wanted him to do it, his dad didn’t. Barry felt like they were tearing him two and the one person he really wanted to talk to about it wasn’t going to be of any help right now. He stopped suddenly and found himself on top of the building that Jitters was in. The hours passed and he stood there, watching people go about their days until long after the sun was down.

“Thought I might find you here.” Barry looked over to Iris walking over to him.

“I needed to get out of the lab. I thought this would be a good place to think.”

“Oh it is. Trust me. I have done a lot of thinking up here when I wasn’t having clandestine meetings with the mysterious streak.”

Barry chuckled softly, wringing his hands together. “Yeah, not mad we lost that name.”

“Hey! I thought it had pizazz!” She said laughing with him. The mood sombered almost instantly. “So, are you going to do it?”

“It’s just so huge. It's the biggest decision of my life and if I’m wrong I can’t undo it.”

“Why would you want to?” Iris asked, looking at him. “I mean, you’d get to see your mom again, and your dad. Have a great career, even get married.” Barry swallowed and looked at her. “Iris West-Allen, huh?”

Barry smiled softly and looked down. “I never thought of myself as a hyphenator, must be a 2024 thing.”

“Iris,” Barry said softly. “That’s changed.” 

“Do you think that because you didn’t live with us, that’s why things are different there?”

“Growing up together, knowing so much about each other, it made it hard for me to admit how I felt about you. Then I waited too long and you fell in love with Eddie.” Barry stopped himself before he admitted the other reason that the future had changed. “But living with you and Joe, I’ve had a great life, Iris.”

She smiled softly. “Come here, Barry.”

He hugged her tightly. “What do you think I should do? I need someone to tell me.”

“I think that for once in your life Barry Allen that you should stop thinking of other people. That you should do what;s in your heart. Do what you need to do for yourself.”

“Thanks,” he said softly and leaned back against the edge of the building, looking at the street below as she made her way back inside. 

Did he do it, give up everything he had now, that he might have to go back in time and save his mother, to reset the timeline. He wouldn’t know any different, none of them would. He took a deep breath and left for S.T.A.R. Labs. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, it took you an hour longer to decide than I thought it would.” Wells licked his fingers and smirked at Barry.

“So how does this work? Your grand plan.”

“It's really not that grand at all, Barry. In fact it's rather simple. We use the Particle Accelerator.”

“The Particle Accelerator,” He said laughing softly. “The last time that happened you caused an explosion that hurt a lot of people.”

Wells shrugged and took a sip of his drink. “This time the accelerator will work exactly as designed to, except instead of two particles moving in opposite directions colliding at the speed of light in the inner ring we only inject one particle into the accelerator.”

“And I’m what it collides with.”

:And if you can go fast enough, Barry, if you can hit the particle with enough speed you will punch a hole right through the fabric of reality. And you will create a portal connecting this time to infinite times.” Wells made a circle with his arms.

“A wormhole.”

“With which, one might travel back to the past to say, to the night your mother died and forward to the future to say, my time.”

Barry looked back at Wells, his arms folded over his chest. “You said if I run fast enough. What happens if I don’t?”

“If you don’t achieve the desired velocity, Barry, you’ll die.”

Soon Barry discovered that his death was not the only possible negative outcome. A singularity, a black hole, had the chance of being created. Not only that, but it could destroy the city or worse. The conversation the team had with Wells didn’t help any, his words couldn’t be trusted. He wanted to get home, what happened to them after he left was of little consequence to him. 

Barry walked out of the cortex and sat on his treadmill, looking up when Joe walked into the room. “So, if I don’t run fast enough to collide with the particle I’m dust. And if I do run fast enough but I’m not back here in time a blackhole will form and swallow up the city and possibly the world. You sure you want to look me in the eyes and tell me it's for the best?”

Joe played with his wedding band. “I’d be lying if I told you I did. Truth is I don’t, I don’t know what to think.”

“I thought you were the sure one. I was kinda banking on that when I made my decision the first time.”

“I was faking it. Sometimes parents do that. Most of the time parents do that. Look, of course I’m scared. But I didn’t want you to not help your mother because you were worried about me.”

“Well, I’ll always worry about you Joe, just like you’ll always worry about me. Sorry, but you can’t stop that.” Barry looked up from the ground and at his foster father, the man that raised him for the majority of his life, and, thankfully, the man who didn’t see him as a burden like Barry had originally thought. “Do you think I can do this? You think I can save my mom, you think I’m fast enough?”

“Yes,” Joe said instantly. “I know you are.”

“You I’ve, I’ve dreamed my whole life about saving her, freeing my dad, and I never thought I’d have to lose another parent to do that.”

“Barry - “

“Joe, its true. I’ve always been so focused on everything I lost that night but I gained so much too. I was born with one father and that tragedy gave me another. And I don’t think I can lose you.”

“You won’t ever lose me. Ever,you hear me?” Barry and Joe locked eyes, both of them holding back tears. “Ever.”

Barry turned his focus to the wedding, but it was over far too soon and the next thing he knew he was standing at the pipeline entrance with his team around him. He hugged Caitlin and then Cisco walked up to him.

“Okay, there’s going to be three yous back there. The you from the future who saved younger you from the Reverse Flash and then you-you. Remember, wait till future you gets younger you out of there and then you can go and save your mom.”

Barry smiled gently. “Piece of cake.”

“May the speed force be with you.”

He laughed softly and turned to face Iris, Eddie, and Joe. Barry stepped up to Joe and put his hand on his shoulder. “Goodbye, dad.” He hugged him tightly and closed his eyes. 

“Goodbye, son.”

He smiled softly and looked at Iris next. “Iris - “

“You don’t have to say anything. I already know.” She reached up and kissed his forehead. 

“I hope whatever life you get its enough for you. That it makes you happy.”

“You too.” He nodded at Eddie and stepped into the pipeline. 

He heard Stein’s words and faced Wells. “Run, Barry. Run.”

Barry ran and soon he started seeing different scenes around him. He heard Iris as a little girl and Joe announcing to her that Barry would be staying with them for a while. He saw a woman who looked like Caitlin throwing ice from her hands. THen he heard Wells talking to him. 

“Barry, what you’re seeing is the speed force. Your past, your present, your future, all at once. So you need to focus on where you want to go so think about that night. Think about your mother.”

In front of him Barry could suddenly see it. His younger self finding his mother surrounded by red and yellow lightning. He ended up in his room and he could hear himself and his father yelling downstairs. 

Barry peeked out of the door to see exactly where his future self and the Reverse Flash were, his eyes taking in the scene. But that’s when he saw himself and locked eyes. And his future shook his head and waved his hand no. Telling him, warning him not to do this. He watch the other two versions of himself disappear and he closed the door not wanting to see what was coming next.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. He listened to his mother scream and he listened to the blade enter her body. Once he heard the Reverse Flash run off and walked outside of the door to see his mother laying on the ground. 

Barry knelt next to his mother and tried to comfort her. “Hey, its okay. Its okay, you’re okay.”

“Please, my husband, my son are they - “

“They’re okay. They’re both safe, I promise.”

“Who are you?” She asked softly.

“I...I’m the Flash,” he choked out.

“I don’t understand.”

He coughed softly and pulled his cowl back so that his mother could see his face. 

“You look just like my father.”

He chuckled wetly and smiled softly. “This won’t make any sense but its me, mom. It’s Barry.”

“Barry?”

“Your Barry.” 

She reached up and cupped his cheek. Barry put his hand over hers and leaned into her touch. “Oh my beautiful boy.”

He clung to her hand. “I got a second chance to come back here. To tell you that I’m okay. Dad and I are both okay. And we love you, mom. I love you,” he said, starting to sob. Barry stayed there with her, sobbing as she let out her final breath. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Barry set her down gently and looked at her one more time before running back He focused on what he had, the friends and the family that surrounded him and as he came back through he put his fist out in front of him, breaking through the time sphere and hitting Wells. 

He groaned as he got up, facing Wells. 

“You didn’t save her? Why? Why?! You could have had the life you wanted. You could of had everything you ever wanted!”

“I already do.” Barry watched as Wells pulled his cowl up and he clenched his fists. He ran at him, fighting him with everything he had, but it still wasn’t enough. With every punch that connected to his body Barry said goodbye to everyone in his head. He looked up as Wells put his hand to his chest. 

“Just so we’re clear, after I kill you I’m going to kill them. And then I’m going to kill your father. I always in, Flash!”

Barry closed his eyes, waiting for it when he heard a gunshot. He fell to the ground and saw Wells stumble back. “What’s happening?”

Cisco stood there looking between Wells and Eddie who was bleeding out on the floor. “Eddie’s his ancestor. If Eddie dies he’ll never be born and he’s being erased from existence.”

Barry watched from where he fell as Iris begged Eddie to stay with him and as he passed away in her arms. He looked at Wells, or Thawne as his true face was revealed. “I’ve controlled your life for so long Barry, how will you get along without me?”

Everything that happened next was a blur. The wormhole reopened and began to grow, eventually breaking through S.T.A.R. Labs and settling over the city. They ran outside, Stein quickly explaining to the others what was going on. 

He looked at Stein after he told him that it couldn’t be stopped. His heart was pounding even faster than normal in his chest and Barry faced them .”I have to try.”

Barry ran up the side of the building and just like the tornado he began running in the opposite direction in order to try and stop it. He heard Cisco in his ear, telling him to keep it up. “I don’t know how much longer I can.”

He yelled at Stein and Ronnie to stop, to not go through with it. Barry started falling, getting his footing and managed to catch Stein as he ran down the side of a building. He barely managed to slow them down enough so that the Professor wasn’t injured any further due to their impact.

This was the second time in less then 10 minutes that he had to look at a friend who had lost someone because Barry wasn’t fast enough. Because Baary wasn’t good enough. 

~*~*~

Six months passed. Barry was staying at S.T.A.R. Labs and was going it on his own. It was safer that way, those that had been around him weren’t at risk. None of them were going to lose anyone else because of him. 

He saw Joe at work but he kept the interaction professional and he managed to get Joe off his back by saying he would think about going to the Flash Day celebration. Barry knew he wouldn’t go, it wasn’t him that lost everything that day, it wasn’t him that saved Central City. The men who did that would never get all the recognition that they deserved. 

Barry took a nap once he was done with work and managed to eat something before he sped through the city. He had an obligation to help this city after all the damage that he caused. One by one he was making his way through the businesses downtown and helping them rebuild. 

He stopped working on Jitters to take a sip of water when he heard a voice that he hadn’t heard in months. “Thought brooding and guilt trips were my thing.”

“Ollie,” he said softly. Barry dropped the stack of cups in his hands and walked over, throwing his arms around his neck.

“Hey, Bar.” Oliver wrapped his arms around him and kept Barry close. Even when the younger man went to move back Oliver still didn’t let him go. There were only a couple moments of hesitation before Barry melted against the archer. Oliver kissed his head. “Let's go up to the roof, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Barry pulled back and led Oliver upstairs, going at a normal pace. He hadn’t really thought about Oliver in weeks. After everything that happened he’d forgotten all that had gone on between them. It felt unimportant after the incident. Barry sat on the edge and stared ahead even as Oliver sat next to him. “How’d you find me?”

“Believe it or not, Joe called me.” 

“He did not.”

“Well, he got Felicity’s number from Cisco and called her. She just passed the message along. If he’s reaching out to me you know he’s worried.”

Barry chuckled softly. “I’m fine, Ollie.”

“You’re a shit liar, Bar.” He turned to face him and Barry looked over. “I tried calling you know. To check on you, to see if it was okay if I came to see you.”

Barry looked back out at the city. “Figured you had enough on your plate. Besides, I got through it. I’m fine, really. Not lying.”

Oliver sighed. “You’re not, but you will be. We can’t save everyone, Barry.”

“It should have been me,” Barry said after a few moments of silence. “Eddie sacrificed himself to save me. Iris lost the love of her life because of me. And Caitlin, she hadn’t even been married a week before she lost Ronnie to the singularity.”

“Ronnie made the choice, along with Eddie. You didn’t ask them to do this.”

“No, but I was the one who went back in time, because I wanted to be selfish and save her. If I had just said no to Wells, Thawne, whatever you want to call him, then he would still be in the pipeline, Ronnie and Eddie would be alive and so many other innocent people would still be with their families. I don’t deserve to be happy, I don’t deserve the team. I don’t deserve this stupid rally they want to throw for me. I didn’t save the city.”

Barry let Oliver take his hand and he shivered slightly at the warmth. “Then accept it for them. Honor them Barry, don’t waste the chance you have to keep fighting for what they died for.”

Barry looked down at their hands and shifted them slightly so that their fingers were intertwined. “I thought I gave the pep talks.”

Oliver laughed and kissed Barry’s hand. “We’re what the other needs, whatever that role is, right?”

“Oh?”

“I’m not going anywhere Barry. Whatever you need,” Oliver promised.

He looked up at the sky and let Oliver’s words sink in. He wasn’t sure he was ready for things to go back to the way they were, if that was even possible at this point. He felt Oliver’s thumb stroking his knuckles and Barry looked at their hands again before looking up at Oliver’s face. “Whatever you need,” he whispered back. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought! The next installment will be the season 2/season 4 crossover.


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